Whoever invented butterscotch needs to be beaten. Even if they’re already dead. The stuff is vile. If you like butterscotch, you are wrong. you need to re-visit your likes and dislikes and make sure butterscotch isn’t there. because if it is, YOU are part of the problem.

I was in the break room, and there was an inviting bowl of candy. I looked around for strangers in vans waiting to kidnap me and saw none. so I stole a piece. it looked like a starlight mint. white with little red stripes. I prepared myself for a taste sensation… and got PwN3D. It was NINJA BUTTERSCOTCH! a clever fellow, the ninja butterscotch disguises itself as less assuming types of candy so it can sneak its way into your mouth. This allows it to assault your palate whilst your defenses are down. Truly a virulent little chunk of sugar.

That’s all I got.

-IggDawg

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  1. January 6th, 2004 at 13:40 | #1

    Orz made the butterscotch.

    Butterscotch is a weird weird flavor. Sometimes I like it. Other times it builds elaborate murder-lattices, in my mouth, woven out of carnivorous candied so succulent (PAIN), smooth like burnished formica, an over-polished petrified (PAIN) wood a million million years too old, too smooth, frictionless like the slipping hook through your gut, the fish rips away from tether into the void, space walk gone bad…o’ leering fisherman, baiting baiting waiting for (PAIN)so like caramel only warmer, colder, more perverse and solid; it tricks me, my precious (PAIN) precious unminded malice like a cat’s eye stone of candied callousness.

    Sorry. Unloading at end of the day. Figured you’d grin at my collapsing brain balloons more than most.

    • January 6th, 2004 at 14:06 | #2

      Re: Orz made the butterscotch.

      That’s exactly how I feel, only the way it tastes to me involves more guns and less plants. but that’s pretty much it.

      :p

      • January 6th, 2004 at 14:22 | #3

        Re: Orz made the butterscotch.

        more like the shock of a burnished Glock?

  2. January 6th, 2004 at 20:15 | #4

    just pretend it’s delicious butter rum and all will be well.

    butterscotch is ok for about 10 seconds, then take it out. when the after taste receeds, put it back. repeat.

    oh yeah, and stop post whoring your journal!

    • January 6th, 2004 at 20:21 | #5

      NEVAR!!!

      I’m so damn interesting. people NEED to know what’s going on. it’s a fact.

      at least I learned how to use LJ-cuts 😀 .

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