The Iggblog

I present a gourmet Easter dish:

Easter Turducken

I know I’ll be making one of these tonight.

As innocent and mundane as some things are, they can still make me chuckle when taken out of context and in the right setting:

clicky

I guess it’s just not a phrase I’m used to seeing at work. Or maybe it’s early and I’m easily amused.

So like… Passover? That’s this week or something right? It’s the commemoration of The Exodus… the freeing of the Israelites from the reign of the Pharaohs in ancient Egypt under the leadership of a great man.  Shown here is a rubbing from an ancient artifact, illustrating part of the epic struggle.  The end result of this is that some lucky saps get to take friday off to observe Passover. By “observe passover” of course I mean “drink and play video games”.

Clearly we devout atheists see a problem with this. We don’t get to take religious holidays. Someone pops the “religious ” card, and people don’t give them grief about taking the day off. So I feel like I should get similar treatment. From now on I’m going to take such esteemed secular holidays such as “talk like a pirate day” (Sept. 19th) and “steak and blowjob day” (March 14th or 20th depending on how it is observed) off. not only will I take these days for my own personal reflection, but I will stick true to the their meanings. I WILL talk like a pirate on Sept.19th, etc. Never let it be said that us kindly atheists lack devotion.

y’arrrrrrrr

Every now and then, very large companies do very interesting things that get twisted into tools of absolute evil

This is an example of such a thing

not only will it convert text to speech. not only will it do this in a number of voices and accents. but you can save the output as a wave file and email it to some unfortunate soul… or save it for later.

At work we have made this thing say the most lewd things (and often in the “english-UK” accents). we have abused it to the absolute fullest of our capabilities. I urge you to do the same.

Ok… so I left for work today around 6. there were no clouds in the sky. at all.

it’s 8:30 now.

Current weather

wheeeeee

iirc it was like 60 yesterday too. gogogo new england

Ok, so there I was with a set of scissors in my pants about to cut off my…. hmm, maybe some back-story.

Working the night shift we’re a lot less concerned about who or what is observing us, since it’s the same 4 guys every night. we wear torn jeans, slouch, burp, etc. It’s a very unassuming atmosphere. I decided my torn:untorn jeans ratio was becoming too large and something must be done about it. I bebop’d down to the local Old Navy, making a stop at the “Poor Financial Decision Institute” (commonly known as “Starbucks”). I found myself a pair of jeans with 4 to badass and 3 to sexy. good to go. Fast forward to today. I’m sitting down in the “men’s only” private office attending a conference call with nature, and I noticed there was some kind of security tag fastened to the inner seam of my zipper. I guess pin-on tags just don’t cut it anymore. It was fused in between 2 layers of seatbelt grade cloth and said warned me of the foul things that would befall me if I didn’t remove it prior to washing. After hanging up on the conefrence call and wiping off the speaker I headed into the breakroom to cut off the offending security tag. So there I was with a set of scissors in my pants about to cut off my tag, when I heard a very emphatic “What in the fuck?!” from behind me. Apparently one of my coworkers was confused as to why I was standing in the break room jabbing a set of scissors around into my opened fly. I hadn’t really checked to see who was around before unzipping my fly and whipping out my…. security tag. Hey at least my back was to the entrance of the room.

Moral of the story: look both ways before shoving scissors down your pants.

It smells like pine on I-290. Why does it smell like pine? They are doing their periodic deforestation near the road. They tend to clear out the first 12 feet or so of vegetation from the side of the road do leave a big clear swath next to the breakdown lane. Their reasoning for this, I am told, is to save lives. A study was done by the Massachusetts DMV and it was found that when cars flew off the roads due to one reason or another, they tended to smash into trees and whatnot in the first 12 feet or so of vegetation next to the road. So clearly to save lives, these homicidal trees should be done away with and shredded into little bits so they can no longer harm people. Good thinking saves lives. what could go wrong?

It turns out that after this is done, cars fly off the road, past the newly cleared terrain, and smash into the first 12 feet or so of vegetation beyond that.

I should note that this was one of the MA DMV’s brighter ideas.

It’s 8:08. Do you know where your techno is?

emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected

The above spam is what my nights at work have been like for the last couple weeks. Tons of this one IPCC alert, “emsgDmpDeviceDisconnected”. It usually ends up being a trash event. The device returns with full connectivity when it’s checked up on pretty much every time. yet I get to build a 24h action ticket every time we get one of these stupid events and I get to wake someone up over it. why we can’t just check up on these myself and avoid that whole shitstorm is beyond me. Sucks for the on-call engineer too. Last week we had to call the poor guy 3-5 times during the night, every night of the week.

In other news, a certain company has been getting on my nerves. We’ll call them “Badwich” for the sake of anonymity. the text behind the cut was a separate post, but I took pity on my friends list.

Upgrade your crap equipment plz.

There have been a few people lately I’ve mentioned the “turtle statue” to recently. It’s a piece of *art* found in a very busy part of downtown worcester. Seems a lot of people, even locals, can’t recall it when I mention it. This is odd considering the subject matter of the art… it’s rather memorable. linked is a site with photos from a few different angles to show you what I’m talking about.

Linky

Perhaps this is from a more innocent time when the boy would be viewed as simply “holding” the turtle. yeah, that’s likely. Just like the fine folks at Time Magazie had no idea what famous picture this resembled (no, I will not link the other picture you sick fucks).

In any event, I can’t help but feel bad for the poor turtle