The Iggblog

I’ve been getting a periodic threshold alert for a device all evening. It comes in and clears out before I have to do anything to it. I’ve seen it like 20 times tonight. It’s a disk usage alert so it’s probably a periodic backup or something.

The device name is “csokseaw”. I don’t know what that’s supposed to spell out or be an abbreviation/acronym for… but in my poor little brain it looks like “cocksaw” to me every time it comes up. ewww… cocksaw? wtf is a cocksaw? That doesn’t sound pleasant at all! And why would anyone name a network device after it? sickos.

I moved the SVX today after a few months of her not moving at all. The neighbors were afraid she was becoming a parking lot ornament. The battery was completely dead. like deader that someone that’s died, rotted, mulched, turned to fertilizer, grown into a tree, cut down, and burned. I’m pretty sure I have a phantom power leak. anyways… Tried my jumpers.. starter would click pitifully but not turn. Got my dad’s “OMGJUMPERCABLES” and tried those. a little turning over. tried both at once. turned over for a while but wouldn’t start. The battery was stone cold. Colder than (you get the idea). I brought it inside to warm it a little and that did the trick. After chiseling off the ice and getting the tires up to pressure I took her out. Still a pleasure to drive. Looking forward to getting a tranny with 3rd and 4h gear in her.

that’s all I got.

Snipped of an update email from Maria, an ex-coworker of mine from my glory days at Diagenics:

______

“So last night we had a Diagenics get together that consisted of Tony, Joey,
Mark and myself. Mark is huge ;o) Anyway…I wanted to include you but
didn’t know how to locate you. Dave has moved out to TX so he couldn’t
make it…which made most of us happy seeing as how last time we got
together he was being his usual creepy self and started talking about
dating. Tony said that he should try match or something and he proceeded
to tell us that he has tried something similiar. Well, we should have
stopped the inquiry right there!! So little innocent Tony asks him what
site he’s on and Dave writes on a piece of paper MPWH.com. What’s that
Tony asks?? So Dave then pretty much yells out for the table and half the
restuarant …MANY PEOPLE WITH HERPES.com (hahahaa….sorry…I’m laughing
as I’m typing!!!!) Anywho, needless to say we were in no hurry after that
to meet again, or finish our dinners for that matter!”

______

Dave was our project manager. Relatively normal looking guy in his 40s/50s… but in reality an extremely creepy guy. he would say the weirdest and least appropriate things at the most awkward times (and in a very normal matter-of-fact voice). some previous examples of his interesting conversational abilities:

– One time when he was driving a bunch of us to lunch, we quesioned him about a small circular burn on his car’s ceiling. his response to his carload of people was “Oh, that’s a cigarette burn. I was driving drunk one time, I drive drunk all the time, and I hopped a curb. I was holding the butt in my right hand and I guess I stabbed it into the ceiling”. I heard 2 seatbelts buckle right around then.

– He comes in from a cigarette break “hey guys, can you give me a hand? I lit the bushes outside on fire while I was smoking”. We never asked if this was intentional or not. no idea how you light juniper-type bushes on fire with a cigarette by mistake?

– He had a thing for this one waitress at On The Border. she was like 23 or so. every time she would walk by, he’d have his eyes fixed with adamant resolution on her ass and he’d audibly mutter “I’d love to have kids with that girl”. I guess you’d have to see the non-wholesome look he’d eye her with. I mean, she had a nice ass and all, so I’m not questioning the staring on his (very single) part. His remarks of her never seemed to match his mode though. I’m shivering right now just thinking about it.

– and now the simple and matter of fact “Hey guys, I’ve got herpes. how bout that?” at the dinnertable. This was one of those situations where lying a little saying “I’ve been using match.com” would be perfectly acceptable. It’s not along the same lines as “I’ve got this terrible back pain” or “I think I’m getting the flu”. It’s more along the line of “I’ve been getting these anal warts lately”… just something you don’t want to think about during dinner.

Then again, if any of you have been around long enough to remember “Claude” you’d know that none of this shouldn weird me out in the slightest. Man, that company had some really sketchy people. Don’t get me started on Ze Germans.

Random Comic Generator v2.0 by Delya
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panel 1
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Quiz created with MemeGen!

It’s not so much what’s said as what’s UNsaid. So much room to read between the lines. True genius.

On my Christmas wish-list:

I’d like to have the ability to clench my fist in a Rage-Of-Darkness(tm), compressing time and space. A wormhole would be created through the intarweb, connecting the center of the singularity with the immortal soul of whoever is on the other end of the phone at the moment. If the internet lines at work can handle all the music and movies people download here, what’s one immortal soul more or less? Using this power I would crush their soul, and their physical bodies would follow… being contorted, torn, and twisted into impossible shapes describable only in 11 dimensional figures. At this point they would exist as mere fingers in our reality, their bodies being tormented in places our primitive eyes cannot see.

Surely after all that they would not be able to continue on with the phonecall they’ve placed to me. How could I with them in that condition? I could hang up with the satisfaction that I had handled them to the furthest extent of my abilities. I could guiltlessly toss them into the callback queue with the poor engineers who would eventually get to deal with their tortured souls. Then I could get back to my real work instead of dealing with this end-user crap. On a normal night I get 3-5 calls from this customer TOPS. This week I’ve been getting more like 15 calls… all between around 5am and 7am (the tail-end of my shift). I’m not a call center phone jockey, thanks. So Santa, if you’re watching, please fill my holiday season with cheer and allow me to humble power to crush the bodies and souls of the bastard Satan-mongering asshole end-users that riddle my night with dead puppies, wilted flowers, and shattered rainbows.

I’m not a big fan of those flip-down DVD screens in vans and SUVs. I mean, it’s a great way to avoid having to interact with your children in any way during the gruelling 15-minute drive from your place in suburbia to “wherever-the-fuck”… Nobody will deny that. But perhaps a little conversation would go a long way to develop social skills in your children.

Anyways… I saw something even better today. Some guy in a Saab or sometihng had a portable DVD player in the front of his car. Not in the dash in one of those horribly expensive head units. He had it sitting on top of his dashboard, flipped upside down, with the screen hanging IN FRONT OF HIS GAUGES. I realize that the goal of commuters is to pay as little attention to traffic as possible, but not only is this guy not paying attention to the road by watching a movie between the spokes of his steering wheel, but he is getting absolutely zero vehicle information. road speed, engine speed, engine temp, fuel level, and any dummy lights… all obscured. if he popped an oil line he’d be none the wiser until his engine was a solid block of metal, and the traffic behind him got real friendly with his rear bumper. not that anyone ever pops an oil line. never happens.

ATTN – Dude with Saab and DVD player: YOU CAN PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD FOR THE 30 MINUTES IT TAKES YOU TO GET HOME! IT’S NOT THAT BAD!

ATTN: NEW ENGLANDa,

It is snowing. True story.

So apparently there’s a ticket out there of some flavor that I haven’t paid. this is news to me, since I’ve kept my addy up to day with the kindly MA DMV. There was a nice officer who was kind enough to let me know that my license was suspended as a result of this. The depths of his heart were deeper than this though. He was selfless enough to call a towtruck on my behalf and have my car towed for me so I wouldn’t have to do it! he even gave me a driving without a license ticket as a memento of our meeting.

to add icing, he put that I was speeding. 70 in a 65. that’s not even a valid citation. the net allowable variance between the radar gun, allowable change in reading due to rolling radius wear, and allowable inaccuracy for speedometers adds up to at least 5mph at 65mph. I guess someone told him his penis was small, so he felt the need to go out and flex it for a while.

hasn’t been a great week. at least the towtruck driver was nice enough to pretend like he didn’t see me crying in the passenger seat. shut up… you wouldn’t be holding up any better at this point.

I didn’t want to post anything before Jim (Fishguy) did, but Ed (Sirkbac) passed away tonight. Prity called me while I was on the way to work, but I didn’t take the call since reception is spotty there. I don’t like talking and having it drop 12 times due to my phone’s inability to switch towers. I saw she left a voicemail and made a mental note to check it when I got into work. I got a call about 30 mins into my shift from a number I didn’t know, so I let it roll to voicemail as is my policy for unknown numbers. this reminded me I already had VM to check. it was Prity talking through tears, just asking me to call her back. So I called, expecting to hear about a fender bender or something. …

I’ll spare the internet the details for the time being, but Ed has indeed passed away. I’d gotten to know him well recently. Especially since he started dating Prity. Some people thought it was odd that I was so friendly towards Ed, but he was a friend beforehand. Prity is a great girl and I was happy to see him with her, and likewise Ed is a great guy and I was glad to see Prity with him. Anyways, we would hang out at his work on weekends or chat on IM. Eventually he started working here at Dimension Data with me, and I’d see him when the shifts changed over. I helped him and Prity move countless (ok, more like 3) times. He’s helped me move a few times. He would always give me random rides here and there if I needed a lift. Even lent me his car over a weekend when mine was broken. He was a damn good friend. I feel bad that living the 3rd shift life didn’t let me hang out with him more. but that’s more hindsight and I know I couldn;t have done too much about it.

Anyways, this is still fresh news and I don’t know exactly what happened yet. To my knowledge nobody does at the moment. still very much in shock and don’t know what to make of my thoughts.

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